Troubled Christian Man Slays Wife, In-Laws After Talking With Pastor on Memorial Day

This right here is why you do not seek mental health counseling from clergy.  It is not the actions I question (ok - maybe a little bit), but the attitude of not being "right with god" as if that is the only answer.  It wasn't until I was stabilized on medication and received proper counseling that things changed for the better; I also spent 18 months in and out of hospital  Praying did jack-shit.

Trimble blames what Sean did in part on not being "adequately connected to God" and remembered his wife as a woman of faith.

"One can only do the atrocious things that Sean did if they're not adequately connected to God. That is pure evil. As a person of faith, the sting of Cassidy's death is nonexistent, that girl is in Heaven, she's received her reward. The true tragedy is for her 5-year-old daughter, and that a man let himself get so separated from God that he would do something so violent, so awful," Trimble said.

While I loathe the failing of the health care system in releasing Ganey, legal constraints most likely played a role in what could be done.  There is no-one person to "blame" but the perp himself for his actions.

Troubled Christian Man Slays Wife, In-Laws After Talking With Pastor on Memorial Day

Son, Grandkids of Pensacola Bible Institute Founder Peter Sturges Ruckman Dead in Apparent Murder-Suicide

Peter S. Ruckman, a political scientist and son of the late founder of the Pensacola Bible Institute, Peter Sturges Ruckman, who also led the Pensacola Bible Baptist Church, was found dead along with his two young sons in his Illinois home in an apparent murder-suicide on Saturday.

The Winnebago County coroner told the Associated Press Peter S. Ruckman, 58, his sons John "Jack" Ruckman, 12, and Christopher Ruckman, 14, all died of gunshot wounds.

According to the Rockford Register Star reports, the recently departed father was a long-time political science professor at Rock Valley College and an instructor at Northern Illinois University. He and his former wife, Heidi Ruckman who is a civil defense attorney with a major law firm, recently divorced in August 2017. Their sons were both students at Rockford Christian Schools.

Son, Grandkids of Pensacola Bible Institute Founder Peter Sturges Ruckman Dead in Apparent Murder-Suicide

Pastor outed on Ashley Madison commits suicide | Money - Home

"It was a moment that life doesn't prepare you for," she told CNNMoney. "I had to call my kids. How do you tell your kids that their dad is gone and that he took his own life?"

In his suicide note, Gibson chronicled his demons. He also mentioned Ashley Madison.

"He talked about depression. He talked about having his name on there, and he said he was just very, very sorry," Christi said. "What we know about him is that he poured his life into other people, and he offered grace and mercy and forgiveness to everyone else, but somehow he couldn't extend that to himself."
,,,
"It wasn't so bad that we wouldn't have forgiven it, and so many people have said that to us, but for John, it carried such a shame," she said.

I sit here contemplating.  Part of me says, "this what one get's for,,," I have no fucking clue.  Part of me,,,I am so very conflicted.  No one, regardless of where one stands on the religious spectrum, should feel guilt so strong that the only option is killing self.  If your religion ingrains such shame, it may be time to re-think what you believe.  

Tullian Tchividjian says he knows. 

"I could never really fully understand why people would take their own lives and while I have not been, thankfully by God's grace, tempted to do so, I for the first time understand why," Tchividjian said. "I get the desperation, I get the despair in a way that I never have."

He said an affair really forces any person, including church leaders to look at themselves and ask, "What kind of person did I become for me to do what I did, my wife to do what she did, where did I fail? Did I become something, someone I didn't see I was becoming?"

Uh, no sir you do not know!  You may think you know, but you do not know.  It is not "[w]hat kind of person did I become", but what kind of person you where perceived to be.  It was what type of person you were taught to be based on an ideal that never existed.

"While Pastor Tullian Tchividjian was deposed of his pastoral credentials, the South Florida Presbytery is committed to continuing to offer him pastoral care. Our goal in doing this is to both protect the integrity of the Church from which his credentials were given while, at the same time, wrapping Tullian in the grace offered by Jesus Christ to all those who confess sin, pursue repentance and desire restoration," the Presbytery noted in a statement on their decision.

Pastor outed on Ashley Madison commits suicide | Money - Home

Why Facebook Kept Up Photos of a Marine's Bloody Suicide

The following was imbedded in the previous story and it is a disturbing read but offers hope when one reads the comments (which I highly recommend as there is some interesting follow-up provided by the author).

Despite the intervention of so many individuals—and other advocacy groups like the VA's crisis hotline and Battles in Distress, according to Wolfe's online friends—the photos remained up.

"It hurt and outraged me," Tripp says. "When we would report the pictures they would tell us thank you for trying to make Facebook a safer place, but the images didn't violate their terms and conditions. When it clearly says images of self harm and mutilation are against their policy. How does leaving those pictures up make Facebook safer?"

His comrades began to stew inwardly, and to vent on Facebook. "I wish we could have done something," one wrote to a fellow member of their old unit. "I just hope you weren't on his other profile..."

His friend replied: "I didn't want to link that profile because I didn't want people to see that. It pisses me off that facebook won't remove those pics I've asked numerous times as have many other people."

[,,,]

"The research tells us that there is an increased risk of 'contagion' with suicide where graphic images are posted," he said. But where to draw the line between acceptable and taboo content is difficult, all the more so for a company with hundreds of millions of users posting content: "Just the photo itself, as graphic as it is, just the image, we can see lots of that online."

Nevertheless, Reidenberg reassured me, Facebook "has been at the lead of that effort" to deal with cases in the most sensitive way possible. "They take it very seriously."

Dr. Craig Bryan, a psychology professor who runs the National Center for Veterans Studies at the University of Utah, told me in an email that the images "could trigger other vulnerable peers"—but an even bigger concern to him is that they could stall the grief recovery process, especially among those who attempted to reach out and intervene. Wolfe's friends may be naturally tempted to experience survivors' guilt, a sense that they didn't do enough, Bryan says, and the photos could be a visual representation of their perceived failures:

Why Facebook Kept Up Photos of a Marine's Bloody Suicide

New Research on Facebook, Fellowship, and Suicide Clusters - Pacific Standard: The Science of Society

Although I have been well aware of the Werther Effect and have pondered the effects of social media platforms on this phenomenon, I am seriously troubled by a story with in this story. That aside for the moment a twofold question/thought comes to mind.

"'The research tells us that there is an increased risk of ‘contagion’ with suicide where graphic images are posted,' [Reidenberg] said. But where to draw the line between acceptable and taboo content is difficult, all the more so for a company with hundreds of millions of users posting content: 'Just the photo itself, as graphic as it is, just the image, we can see lots of that online.'"

I find that a bit of a cop-out. A solution that is not a solution. One that does not answer the question originally posed in the grab for the article, "How can news media & social media work to stem copycat suicides, and provide a community for loved ones to grieve and support each other??"

Does this "non-solution" then exemplify the need for more or a continuation of education in regards to prevention especially in regards to our returning service members?
__
In “The Werther Effect,” Phillips was challenging Emile Durkheim’s longstanding assertion that imitative suicide was not a thing. Modern research suggests more and more that Durkheim was wrong, that Phillips is right, and—as of this past week—that specific modes of media make the Werther Effect possible.

It now appears that emulative suicide’s principal drive is not glamour but rather a sense of proximity to the death, a vivid identification with the small details. In a study published May 2 in The Lancet, Dr. Madelyn Gould, a professor of psychiatry at Columbia, evinces an important relationship between the type of news coverage a suicide receives, and the number of copycats it inspires. Gould’s main draw: “Our findings indicate that the more sensational the coverage of the suicides, and the more details the story provides, then the more likely there are to be more suicides.” At Poynter, Kelly McBride emphasizes the study’s bearing on “noble, angelic” portrayals of suicide, portrayals that have palpable repercussions in a community.

[,,,]
Will editors start whitewashing their writers’ suicide reporting in light of these new findings (or, if you prefer, this affirmation of old findings)? Probably not. Most will keep doing what they do, operating within their respective traditions of ethics and taste. That it sells will continue to ensure coverage of anything sensational, but remember that reporters often don’t know that much about the departed. Facebook, meanwhile, has access to far more details about these people than journalists do. While the company sometimes seems confused about its own privacy policies, the Oklahoma incident is especially glaring, and it remains to be seen whether Wolfe’s family will bring legal action.

New Research on Facebook, Fellowship, and Suicide Clusters - Pacific Standard: The Science of Society

I was an accomplice to my brother's suicide - CNN.com

Four years ago, just a few weeks shy of his 21st birthday, Evan ended his life with the intention of forever ending his pain. And I am left with blood on my hands. My misconceptions about suicide have made me an accomplice.

I thought his inability to deal with reality and grow up, or to get over a girlfriend, contributed to his suffering. But I was wrong; a character flaw or single traumatic event didn't lead him to taking his own life. Evan was battling an internal monologue on a daily basis.

Evan was the kind of person who could make you laugh even when you didn't want to crack a smile. Everything about him was happy. A trendsetter, he knew what was cool before the rest of us. A social butterfly, he could walk with many different groups at school and was respected in all of them. A talented athlete, a creative mind with artistic gifts, he was the last person you would expect to be tormented by thoughts of suicide.

[,,,]
As hard as he tried, he couldn't be happy anymore. The enthusiasm with which he used to live life to its fullest was gone. He was using drugs and expressing rage at the slightest offense. After a family argument, he punched the wall and broke his hand. Either from the drugs or from his deteriorating mental health, he became increasingly paranoid about the intentions of his friends. His art and creative interests became dark and confusing.

[,,,]
The house was dark. I remember firefighters, paramedics and police crowding our dark courtyard, staring at their feet. They had come to save a life, but they were too late. There was no life they could save. Blinded by a police officer's flashlight upon my face, I froze. There was nothing I could do for Evan either, I realized.

As I comforted my parents, I began flipping on the light switches, a feeble attempt to bring light into our dark home. We were broken. When Evan took his life, he passed his pain on to those of us left behind, his family and large circle of friends. Through tremendous loss, we inherited his suffering.

I was an accomplice to my brother's suicide - CNN.com

Shamed: How The UMC contributed to my son's death

I came across this story a day or two ago and it is heartbreaking. As I sat and continued to read, tears of sadness came forth and then anger. No child (or family) should ever have to endure what is highlighted in this piece. There is a saying that has been attributed to the late Christopher Hitchens, "Religion poisons everything. As well as a menace to civilization, it has become a threat to human survival." I believe this story bares that thought out all too well.

After reading through this, a thought kept coming to mind, this youth pastor is deeply conflicted with his own sexuality. I would also bet that his invective was really aimed toward his own self-hatred and self-loathing; something taught by his church. It is for that reason I find religion so very dangerous as it is a learned response, one that is taught with impunity:

"The UMC has a Book of Discipline that states: The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching. Now, I have a question. Did this youth pastor behave in or out of the culture created by the words in the United Methodist Book of Discipline? I think he behaved in line with our Book of Discipline. (Sin, unworthy, undeserving, not comfortable around you, going to hell-words that delivered the message that homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching!)"

What troubles me is the paragraph immediately following, and why I firmly believe that one can not separate the man made dogma of a church from (denominational) interpretations of the Bible.

"I however, do not, believe that The UMC would knowingly sanction such ignorance and abuse. Of course no one intended for this to happen. Many people have grieved for my Ben. Still, our Methodist messages are contradictory and confusing. Open Hearts, Open Doors, Open Minds... but our message is that a gay person does not measure up to Christian teachings? This confusion opens the door to hurtful situations."

Yes the UMC would knowingly sanction such abuse, it's in their Book of Discipline, where do you think this asshate youth minister learned it? He believed he was doing the work of the church and mom just defended that religious dogma.

I do hope that this mother and family are able to heal from the wounds inflicted not just by their church, but by society as a whole. Too many times this story is played out quietly, without any of us knowing. I applaud this mom for coming forward and baring her soul, it takes much courage to do so!!

“Violent, irrational, intolerant, allied to racism and tribalism and bigotry, invested in ignorance and hostile to free inquiry, contemptuous of women and coercive toward children: organized religion ought to have a great deal on its conscience.” ― Christopher Hitchens, God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything

Shamed: How The UMC contributed to my son's death

Scientists Develop Blood Test for Suicide Risk - Suicide, Depression, Anxiety Disorders

Considering that in the United States, suicide claimed over 100 people a day in 2010 (CDC), it's imperative that we find better ways to detect people at risk for harming themselves so prevention strategies can be implemented before they make a suicide attempt.

A biomarker is a substance in the body that indicates the presence of a biological condition such as a disease. Why are biomarkers so cool? Because they can be identified and measured fairly easily and tend to allow earlier diagnosis than other kinds of tests.

In the study, the researchers followed participants diagnosed with bipolar disorder for three years by completing interviews and taking blood samples every 3 to 6 months. They found differences in the RNA (ribonucleic acid, which affects gene expression) of those with high levels of suicidal thoughts.

The researchers then compared RNA biomarkers among the participants to blood samples from a group of individuals who had recently committed suicide. Their biomarker levels were highly elevated much like the levels of the original group.

Scientists Develop Blood Test for Suicide Risk - Suicide, Depression, Anxiety Disorders

Without acceptance you still have stigma!!

I am not a fan of Rick Warren's, I do not support any of his teachings. But I do grieve for them in the loss of their son Matthew. No parent (family or friend) should should ever have to face the reality of suicide. But this scares the shit out of me,,,

• Rick then made a promise: Saddleback’s next big ministry push will be to remove the stigma associated with mental illness in the church. “Your illness is not your identity, your chemistry is not your character,” he told people struggling with mental illness.

I do agree that that one should try (key word) and not let their illness over take their lives (identity). I always say "I have bipolar, it does not have me." I will also admit that at times I am a huge failure at this as my most recent episode can attest to. But it IS part of who I am; it is the nature of the beast. I am who I am. To say that it (your chemistry) is "not your character" is demeaning and a denial of the neuro-physiological aspect of many psychiatric illnesses that one cannot control without the external help of therapy and/or medication. How I handle and cope with my beast from within defines who I am; it dictates my actions, my reactions. I have had to learn to "live with it" and that has molded my personality into who and what I am today. My hospitalizations, my therapy sessions and my medications have all helped formulate how I live my life. I know I will never be able to have a 9-5 job, with fancy surroundings were deadlines have to be met. I know that on most nights when y'all are sleeping, I will be awake because my brain is whirling with sometimes obsessive thoughts. I know that sometimes my emotions will overwhelm me at inopportune times and I will come off as a babbling idiot. But you know what, that is ME, and I denied that aspect of myself for far to long. And I fear that if Mr Warren has his way too many are going to bury the best parts of who they are, what makes them unique.

• To their families, he said, “We are here for you, and we are in this together.” There is hope for the future: “God wants to take your greatest loss and turn it into your greatest life message.”

How is this removing the stigma?? How is taking "YOUR greatest loss and" turning "it into YOUR greatest life message" helping those with mental illness? Warren's focus is just plain wrong. Yes, whole families suffer when dealing with a loved one that has a mental illness, but the focus of removing the stigma should not be focused on YOUR grief and suffering. The focus should be on PREVENTING that loss in the first place. The focus should be on making sure that proper services are available to ALL individuals (and families) that are dealing with mental health issues. Too many families don't "qualify" for help, or the help they receive is steeped in rhetoric of one form or another. Before I was officially diagnosed, when mental illness was beginning to "make the news," I suffered many an indignation. Though I can look back on them now as part of my journey, the harm that was caused was no laughing matter. Thankfully those early clinicians stayed focused on me and my dysfunctional brain.

• For the next six Sundays, Rick will preach a sermon series entitled, “How To Get Through What You’re Going Through.” He will devote a message to each of the six stages of grief: shock, sorrow, struggle, surrender, sanctification, and service.

What is bothersome with this statement, why does it appear as if Warren is sidestepping the here and now and looking ahead to grief and loss? Again his focus is just wrong. Regretfully those with Axis I disorders (Bipolar and Schizophrenia being 2 such illnesses) have a high rate of suicide, but isn't part of removing the stigma prevention. Now context is a bit lacking, as he may also be referring to what individuals (and families) dx'd with an acute illness first go through when they get the "bad" news. First thing I wanted to do is track down my bio-mom so I could blame her. Then I got angry, the "why me?" stage. Then I got even angrier with the system and the hoops I had to jump through. Then I struggled, I struggled to regain balance in my life so I could function (somewhat,,,lol) in society.

 Please explain to me WTF is "surrender," "sanctification," and "service?" Those are not part of the stages of grief I learned back in the day.  (Athlo Kubler-Ross's work has been misconstrued as a research study of grief and bereavement, her observations are still valid in regards to some key emotional reactions to the experience of the dying.) If I would have surrendered to my illness I would not be sitting here today. I would be a pile of ashes sitting on some shelf, hidden away. Sorry Mr Warren, my life and Matthew's life are worth a shitload more than to be stored in some box, tucked away in a closet full of other long forgotten memories. It sounds as if you gave up on Matthew long before he gave up on himself. And I do apologize for sounding harsh but I fear that Mr Warren's profession of choice is clouding the realities of life. Just as you cannot pray the gay away, you can not pray away mental illness.

OH! how dare I say that!!  Well do you see what is missing in his little paradigm?  Where the fuck is acceptance?  Without acceptance you still have stigma!!

• A larger program to address the specifics of mental illness has yet to be revealed, but it will be similar, Rick said, to the way their church has helped to tackle the HIV crisis.

All I will say on this is that Mr Warren is part of the Evangelical crowd responsible for the Ugandan "Kill the Gays" bill. And that my friends is what scares the shit out of me!!

Rick Warren Preaches First Sermon Since His Son’s Suicide: Almost four months after their son committed suicide, Pastor Rick Warren and his wife Kay addressed their congregation for the first time, promising to remove the stigma of mental illness from the church

US Military suicides continue to climb, reaching record in 2012 — RT

Very disturbing,,,

The official website of the US Department of Defense has published preliminary reports of at least 177 potential active-duty suicides and 126 potential non-active-duty suicides in 2012. The report reveals a marked surge in suicides since 2011, when 165 confirmed active-duty and 118 non-active-duty suicides were registered.

In all, 349 servicemembers in all branches of the US Military committed suicide in 2012, up 15 percent from 301 suicides in the military in 2011, AP reported, citing a Pentagon source. The number of US Military suicides in 2012 exceeded the total combat fatalities in Afghanistan in 2012, which the AP calculated at 295 deaths.

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David Rudd, a military suicide researcher and dean of the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences at the University of Utah, told AP that he is not optimistic about further anti-suicide developments. “Actually, we may continue to see increases,” Rudd explained, adding that Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans commit suicides because of PTSD, depression, alcohol and substance abuse, while those not deployed take their lives because of problems with relationships, finances or the law.
 
US Military suicides continue to climb, reaching record in 2012 — RT