Patriarchy and Abusive Churches

The one issue I find lacking (or just not a strong enough condemnation for my liking), coming from the author's perspective concerning patriarchy is, what to do with those already caught with their pants down? Her equating the abuse to sin is a bit troublesome and "just" talking about it is not going to "fix" the problem: "My evangelical brothers and sisters, we have an abuse problem and we need to talk about it. Talking about it does far less damage to Christ's reputation in the world than covering it up." Who gives a crap about "Christ's" reputation!

And how does one go about "get[ting] rid of it entirely?" Her use of the terms such as "complementarianism" and "mutuality" when criticizing patriarchy has the appearance of softening the blow against the church as a whole. I get the feeling she is trying to be too nice. Patriarchy needs to be eliminated "at home" first if you want it removed from the church.

"So the point I want to make today is not that all who subscribe to patriarchy are abusive, but that patriarchy in a religious environment, just as in any environment, has a negative effect on the whole community,,,"

Maybe I am missing something in the author presentation or I'm seeing something that isn't their because of my bias. Either way some interesting thoughts to consider especially for those still in the church setting.

Having talked at length with survivors of abuse in a Christian environment, I hear similar themes repeated over and over again. They speak of church cultures that treated women’s bodies as inherently problematic and seductive, that assigned a woman’s worth to her sexual purity or procreative prowess, that questioned women’s ability to think rationally or make decisions without the leadership of men, that blamed victims of sexual abuse for inviting the abuse or tempting the abuser, that shamed women who did not “joyfully submit” to their husband and find contentment in their roles as helpers and homemakers, and that effectively silenced victims of abuse by telling women and children that reporting the crime would reflect poorly on the church and thus damage the reputation of Christ. These women describe an environment of fear in which they learned to distrust their own instincts and desires, which made it hard to report, or even acknowledge, the abuse.

[,,,]
Those who subscribe to Christian patriarchy often argue that the examples cited above represent a corruption of patriarchy, which is an inherently good system. But I would like to argue today that the best way forward is not to simply improve patriarchy within our churches but to get rid of it entirely because 1) patriarchy doesn’t work and 2) the Kingdom functions best when men and women work together as equal partners.

[,,,]
If more patriarchal cultures tend to suffer and more egalitarian cultures tend to thrive, might that indicate that shared rule—like that of Eden—is preferable to male rule? Might that suggest that the Church isn’t meant to be exclusively masculine, but reflective of all of its participants?

Might that suggest that men need women not as subordinates but as partners?

Patriarchy and Abusive Churches