Monday, November 10, 2014

TWO Care | Fighting antigay lies and the ex-gay myth

I spoke with Justin on the phone the other night, and he cleared some things up about his story. It has been reported that the church outed him, and the way their letter reads, it does sound that way. However, that is simply not true. Justin told me that, when he was hired, he made the powers-that-be at the church aware of his sexuality, and they decided to essentially look the other way. He was single at the time, and he thinks they were under the impression that he planned to stay that way. He worked there for a while, but eventually ended up leaving the church and moving almost three-thousand miles away. At this point, Justin wasn’t too keen on participating in a religious congregation that would condemn him for who he was, so needless to say, he didn’t seek out a new PCA church in his hometown. Over the next two years, Justin stayed friendly with a few of the people from that church, and that led to a recent tense conversation with a ruling elder from the church, somebody he also considered to be his friend. You see, Justin was dating somebody at the time, and made no secret of it. So it was that, from three-thousand miles away, that ruling elder contacted him about his breach of PCA rules and regulations. Justin asked the guy (it’s a guy — the PCA doesn’t allow women to do so much as teach Sunday School without a man present) if this was a friendly call or an “official” call, to which the elder replied that it was a little of both.

Before, Justin had been under the impression that the PCA would let him leave in, as he put it, “quiet disgrace,” agreeing to disagree about doctrine, his sexuality and what have you. It seems, however, that it’s easier to leave the Mormon or Catholic churches than it is to get your name removed from the PCA rolls, even from three-thousand miles away.

[,,,]
But cracks are starting to develop in the foundation. Those religious leaders with a sense of nuance and a grasp on reality can no longer pretend that they don’t notice that LGBT people have been deeply wounded by the church. Those with eyes open realize that the “ex-gay” movement has been discredited beyond repair, that it has absolutely no basis in reality, and that it has a long track record of sending people into deep spirals of depression and, tragically, suicide. No rational, feeling human being can acknowledge that track record and continue to support the “ex-gay” movement. No rational, feeling human being can watch conservative Christian parents disowning their gay kids and kicking them out on the street and judge that act as anything but evil.

I noted in that press release that the most important parts of this discussion about equality and inclusion are no longer happening in the mainstream public consciousness. The public, as it were, already supports full equality. Marriage equality is sweeping the nation, and despite a few dead-end governors wasting their citizens’ taxpayer dollars trying to forestall the inevitable, it’s being greeted with little more than a shrug. Sure, there may be 40 or 45 percent of the public that, at least going by the poll numbers, are against it, but one gets the sense that the anti’s just don’t care that much anymore.

[,,,]
Indeed. But that’s the entire point I’m getting at. The true divide, the true developing chasm, is between conservative Christians who are struggling and wrestling with this issue — the ones who don’t want to be hateful, who don’t gay kids to be homeless, but they believe that homosexuality is sin, etc. — and the dead-ender, hate-mongering hardliners like Bryan Fischer, Greg Quinlan and Matt Barber. Those men and others like them will likely live out their lives, watching their allies die, never to be replaced, and eventually die themselves, and with that, their movement. But millions of conservative Christians will evolve, slowly but surely, and one day they’ll forget there was ever a time when they didn’t accept LGBT people.

Their kids will be leading the way,,,



TWO Care | Fighting antigay lies and the ex-gay myth

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