BTTP graced by the presence of Renee Davis-Pelt and Vyckie Garrison

This past week, Beyond The Trailer Park was graced by the presence of Renee Davis-Pelt and Vyckie Garrison (of No Longer Quivering).

Unless y'all have been living under a rock, Ruth Bader Ginsburg in the recent SCOTUS case of Obergefell v Hodges made the following statement :

[Same-sex couples] wouldn't be asking for this relief if the law of marriage was what it was a millennium ago. I mean, it wasn't possible. Same-sex unions would not have opted into the pattern of marriage, which was a relationship, a dominant and a subordinate relationship. Yes, it was marriage between a man and a woman, but the man decided where the couple would be domiciled; it was her obligation to follow him.

There was a change in the institution of marriage to make it egalitarian when it wasn't egalitarian. And same-sex unions wouldn’t — wouldn't fit into what marriage was once.

Hidden within that argument are some deep concerns, yoking marriage to traditional gender stereotypes. A stereotype that subjugates women. Or as our guest Renée Davis-Pelt will address "How to be a Biblical Women" (to borrow from Atheism 101).

Just as Hobby Lobby wasn't just about contraception, neither is Obergefell just about marriage equality. Gregory Lipper of AU terms it as, "old-fashioned discrimination on the basis of sex." Or in Renee's case Religious Trauma Syndrome It is religiously based discrimination that is taught from the pulpit, preached on TV, and espoused by politicians.

That is basically how I introduced our discussion, a discussion loaded with important talking points:  Christian patriarchy, Quiverfull, covenant marriage and a whole lot of other creepy stuff. It is religiously based discrimination that is taught from the pulpit, preached on TV, and espoused by politicians. And in some cases, it is what is being taught to the children under the guise of home schooling; specifically Christian home schooling.

Often our conversations go in various directions covering many topics, such was the case on Monday.  Below are some "resources" used in preparing that may be of interest:

• Where and how I first learned of both Renee and Vyckie,well worth the time to listen
• Renee telling her experience, it's a two parter
• Vyckie's experience::  How Playing Good Christian Housewife Almost Killed Me
• Religious Trauma Syndrome and/or How Dr. Dobson, Billy Graham, Bob Jones, Christianity Today, Wheaton College et al, Do More Harm than Good
• Marital Rape, how it can become a serious issue within the Patriarchy Movement
• The story that brought Domestic Violence to the fore:: Tracey Thurman
• An issue touched upon by Vyckie in regards to Quiverfull, Christian Home Schooling:

Escape from Christian Fundamentalism - the Kids Who Flee Abusive, Isolated Christian Homes

A powerhouse of information, a great illustration of how poisonous religion is in the lives of human beings. Further along in the article is an "outline" of the history of the home school movement based in Christian ideology, as well as, the influence of the Quiverfull movement. A veritable who's who of the Reich and those who do battle against them.

Barely Literate? How Christian Fundamentalist Homeschooling Hurts Kids

Why did she stick with homeschooling for so long, despite her difficulties? “We were convinced that it would be better for our kids not to have an education than to be educated to become humanists or atheists and to reject God,”
,,,
Garrison believes that homeschooling has become so popular with fundamentalist Christians because, “there is an atmosphere of real terror among some evangelicals. They are horrified by the fact that Obama is president, and they see the New Atheist movement as a vocal, in-your-face threat. Plus, they are obsessed with the End Times, and believe that the Apocalypse could happen any day now...They see a demon on every corner.

“We homeschooled because we wanted to protect our children from what we viewed as the total secularization of America. We listened to people like Rush Limbaugh, who told us that America was in the clutches of evil liberal feminist atheists.” 

Now that I am over my 50 year old fangirl crush (sorta), I realized that there was one question I did not ask Vyckie:  If someone from a secular perspective, or even a liberal/progressive Christian perspective, suspects that a friend/family member/co-worker is falling into the quiverfull or patriarchal trap, how should or can we help?

I have been in this situation and I'm still at a loss myself as to how to help?

Why the answer is important is summed up by Vyckie with this point:  

It is essential to seriously consider this question because, truthfully ~ if you are only interested in picking apart your friend’s lifestyle choices and criticizing her for whatever seems to be wrong with the way she’s living ~ you cannot help and, in fact, you will only be contributing to her misery.

Regretfully, I fucked up royal and allowed my "angry atheist" mode to get the better of me. As Vyckie explains,,,

Truthfully, these people only made the situation worse for me and my children. At one point, our family began attending a church which was not strictly fundamentalist. Our large, homeschooling family definitely stuck out and almost immediately people began to “snoop around” ~ asking the children about our lifestyle choices. This sent Warren into a frenzy of panic and defensiveness and he became all the more difficult to deal with.

When unhealthy families feel threatened, they withdraw ~ isolating themselves even further and creating more potential for abuse. That’s what we did. We left the church ~ and it’s too bad because if we’d have stuck around, we would likely have been exposed to a more balanced approach to the bible.

We have received some wonderful feedback concerning this episode, I am just thrilled that BTTP was able to give both Renee an Vyckie the platform to share their experiences.  Unlike what the Duggars present weekly, there are more thorns than roses.