ADDENDUM::In a previous posting concerning Katy Faust

As I was getting ready to publish the preceding article concerning Faust, I pondered a bit, I've heard this story before.  Although I couldn't find the correct video that my mind was wandering back to, I was reminded of Faust's  "open letter" to Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy.  It was concerning the, then upcoming, arguments in the Obergefell v Hodges case before SCOTUS.

Although I have many concerns with Faust's position, there are two points I find rather disturbing.  Although I may not be as scathing as David Cary Hart over at The Slowly Boiled Frog,

I hate to pile on but the anti-gay rhetoric of National Organization for Marriage (and Witherspoon Institute) spouted by someone who was raised by gay parents is still the anti-gay rhetoric of National Organization for Marriage. It is also preposterous. Simply stated a child being raised by a gay couple is better off if that couple is married.

Faust sounds as if she should be protesting divorce rather than gay marriage.  It seems like she is more upset that her birth mom and dad secured a divorce. 

What these complainers have in common is that these are children of divorce (we don't seem to be hearing from adopted kids). It is the divorce (and the attendant religious opprobrium) that makes people like Ms. Faust angry and irrational. I suspect that, according to Faust's “logic,” it is the acceptability of (forbidden) homosexual unions that created the divorce in the first place. The reality is probably quite different. If she lacked a relationship with her father it wasn't because she was being raised by two lesbian. Rather it was because her father chose to be absent from her life.

It is also a point that Jeremy Hooper alludes to in his criticism as well, 

Her parents divorce was painful on her. That's not a surprise. It often is on children. Katy herself cites the divorce as the key issue here.  "[T]he most traumatic event in my thirty-eight years of life," she says,,,.  Of course Katy's story is a personal one that she is projecting onto every family. And as I already said, she is taking the pain of divorce, which she admits is the root issue for her, and projecting that onto civil marriage policy for gays and lesbians (who may or may not even become parents). Because that's what commentators like Katy often do.

Which brings us to my second point, as a child of adoptive - hetero parent (evangelicals to boot) - I think it's bizarre that she thinks that it is biology that makes parents great.  By her definition, divorce and adoption are not only bad choices, but kind of an abomination. It seems that she thinks that if people just try really hard, they can become the "perfect" parents that she desires.  As Hooper points out,

But here's what really gets me. In truth, Katy's attack lines could just as easily apply to opposite-sex couples who parent the very same way as their same-sex counterparts. For instance, she writes:

When two adults who cannot procreate want to raise children together, where do those babies come from? Each child is conceived by a mother and a father to whom that child has a natural right. When a child is placed in a same-sex-headed household, she will miss out on at least one critical parental relationship and a vital dual-gender influence. The nature of the adults’ union guarantees this. Whether by adoption, divorce, or third-party reproduction, the adults in this scenario satisfy their heart’s desires, while the child bears the most significant cost: missing out on one or more of her biological parents.

Making policy that intentionally deprives children of their fundamental rights is something that we should not endorse, incentivize, or promote.
FULL: Dear Justice Kennedy: An Open Letter from the Child of a Loving Gay Parent [Public Discourse]

"Two adults who cannot procreate" is not a stand-in for "same-sex couple." Many opposite-sex couples cannot have biological children on their own, and many of them ultimately choose adoption. Adoptive parents, be they gay or straight, are not biologically connected to their children. There is no logically consistent way that Katy Faust can use a line about adopted kids "missing out on one or more of her biological parents" and confine that line only to the kids of same-sex parents. There are millions of kids of straight parents who fall into that very same category!

I'm sorry Katy, but I find that an odious thought.  You are basically endorsing the ridicule I faced growing up as an adopted child.  That I was somehow defective and that my parents, in doing their Christian duty, took pity on me.  Granted my folks and I had our issues, some even carried over into adulthood, but in the end my parents love me.  They may not understand me, but I am quite secure in our relationship.

Even now, as I recover from a stoke at 51 years of age, I call my dad weekly to let him know how I am doing. (Sadly my mom passed last November at 94).  As odd as it feels asking my dad about what to expect with my recovery, I value his input (and not just on health matters as I seek his advice concerning financials, investing and other mundane stuff of life). 

Though not connected "biologically" there is something even stronger that binds us together - love.  As Hart notes quite harshly, "I suspect that, according to Faust's “logic,” it is the acceptability of (forbidden) homosexual unions that created the divorce in the first place.  The reality is probably quite different. If she lacked a relationship with her father it wasn't because she was being raised by two lesbian. Rather it was because her father chose to be absent from her life." Or she encouraged that behavior by distancing herself from him - speaking from experience.

Having the personal, private belief that same-sex relationships are not Biblical may not be hateful per se (wrong IMO); it is her belief.  BUT, traipsing around the world spitting rhetoric that is not even your own (National Organization for Marriage and Witherspoon Institute) is vile; it is hurtful. Being loud about it, so that the whole world can hear you, is being hateful. 

Like those before her - Anne Paulk and Linda Wall - Faust needs to examine her own life before condemning others.

I am truly sorry that Katy Faust longs for a different childhood than the one that was in her cards. I am genuinely happy that she says she is happy with her husband and children. But what Katy is doing right now is an act of bad faith on behalf of actual human children who will grow up finding rhetoric like hers and wondering why they are being told to feel bad and/or broken because of their loving family structure. Rather than limit their political assaults to just adults and fellow commentators who signed up for this fight, these adult activists are now indirectly (or even directly) targeting our children as they come up in this world. It is an amoral thought crime against parents like me and children like mine.