ADDENDUM::Steve King Says It's Legal, So I Tried To Marry My Lawnmower

Remember this,

“I had a strong, Christian lawyer tell me yesterday that, under this decision that he has read, what it brings about is: It only requires one human being in this relationship—that you could marry your lawnmower with this decision. I think he’s right.”

Enter reporter Pat Rynard of the Iowa Starting Line, he decided to test King's assertion.  With beloved lawnmower in tow, Rynard went to the Polk County Recorder’s office to procure a marriage license for himself and his beloved lawnmower.

Me: Hi Julie, so I came by the Recorder’s office today because I want to get a marriage license. For myself and my lawnmower.
Haggerty: Ok, the answer to that would be no. First of all – well, I should back up a bit and say how old is your lawnmower?
Me: Maybe six or seven years.
Haggerty: You have to be 18 years old to get a marriage license. And the other person, the other party needs to be able to sign a contract, has to have a government ID, and has to be able to have a witness who says they can enter into a contract. So I think on those counts alone you can’t marry your lawnmower.
Me: Now is it because I’m already married to a woman? Would I have to divorce her first? With the stuff Steve King is saying, it seems like everything is fair game now.
Haggerty: See, I should probably have asked that question first, are you married? Because if you’re still married, obviously you can’t enter into a contract.
Me: Ok, so no marriage with my lawnmower?
Haggerty: No marriage because you’re married, and no marriage with a lawnmower because it’s an inanimate object. You cannot marry a lawnmower.
Me: What about a snow blower?
Haggerty: [shakes head no]

Steve King Says It's Legal, So I Tried To Marry My Lawnmower