During his freshman year at Brigham Young University, Michael Ferguson began bargaining with God.
The pledges of sacrifice came during hours of
feverish prayer that a dressed-for-church Ferguson offered from his
knees, while locked inside his dormitory room on each monthly Mormon
fast Sunday.
In exchange for heaven's merciful aid, Ferguson
would give more — more hours of service in his Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints priesthood assignments, more time performing ritual
ordinance work in the Provo LDS Temple, more devotion, more
faithfulness, more obedience.
"One of [the bargains]," Ferguson said, "was
that I would not tell a single person until I was on my deathbed that I
had experienced same-sex attraction if he would help lift that off of
me."
That struggle led Ferguson on a painful,
sometimes desperate, journey through a decade of efforts to change his
sexuality — from prayer and talk therapy to 12-step programs and
psychodrama workshops — culminating with his exit from Mormonism and a
landmark New Jersey lawsuit that became the first courtroom challenge to
commercial conversion-therapy programs.
In June, a jury found the nonprofit group JONAH
(Jews Offering New Alternatives for Healing) guilty of consumer fraud
for promising it could help clients with same-sex attractions overcome
their sexual urges.
Ferguson and three Orthodox Jewish men had sued
after seeking help from JONAH programs, some developed by Mormons. The
four had wrestled to reconcile their sexuality with their conservative
religious upbringings.
Ex-Utahn's journey from Mormon counseling to 'abusive' reparative therapy and, ultimately, a happy gay marriage | The Salt Lake Tribune
