Show Notes - No, big-pharma did not make this up

Welcome to this week's exploration of the dumb shit, stupid-smart people say,,,

So this week whilst trying to decide on a story to highlight, I was torn as to what to choose.  So many stupid people, so little time.  As per usual, the story seems to have chosen me, and this one hits very close to home and heart.  As you will find out there is only one topic that can raise my hackles more than religious batshittery,,,

In 1993 my life was beginning a downward spiral that I had no control over. All I knew was everything I did was useless, I became socially withdrawn, stopped activities I once enjoyed, and literally became a hermit. Tasks such as grocery shopping were almost impossible, sleep was unheard of, and my daily life totally disintegrated. Altho there were other factors that figured into the whole mix, hindsight has shown me that my downward spiral was not causing those factors, but the reverse. The pressures of dealing with a chronically ill significant other, financial difficulties, and just the tasks of daily living where killing me.  The thought of mental illness never crossed my mind, it didn't exist at least not in the "normal" way.  I was still stuck in the religious mind-set I had discarded a few years prior; the "fault" lay with me, it was "something"  I was doing wrong. So I ignored the "symptoms" put on my big-girl panties and carried on with my life.

Flash forward,,,

Because of the financial issues, I was seeking help of any kind, the last organization I had visited broke my back and my mind.  That was in 1997.  And so began 18 months to hell and back.  Let me explain,,,

Have you ever watched a movie, where the protagonist and antagonist are fighting; falling through walls and sometimes weakened ceilings,  down stairs eventually ending up in a room where the main electrical supply is concentrated?  During the course of their battle, electrical lines are broken, sparks begin to fly.  The climax comes when the protag does a roundhouse kick to the chest of his foe sending him backwards into the main panel; that is when shit really begins to get heated.  The arcing begins as the antag sizzles like bacon (that is what my brain felt like it was doing) eventually collapsing into a heap of death in the process taking out the power of the scene of battle (or worse the entire eastern seaboard - I watch to many sappy disaster movies).

That my dear listeners is what it is like to have a complete and total psychotic break. That is what happened on that day in 1997.  That is what bipolar type 1 w/ psychotic features can be like if ignored because of religious dogma and ideology; left untreated because one needs to "buck up" and get on with life.

So you can imagine my anger, my despair (I'm not sure what word to use) when this headline came through my news feed two weeks ago:

Fox Host Tells Caller Her Bipolar Disorder Is "Made Up" And "The Latest Fad" For Money

Now I am not going to get into the politics behind Sullivan's statement, and yes there is an agenda. (You can read about that on my blog if you so choose.)  What I want to address is the willful ignorance that Sullivan has in regards to bipolar disorder and just how little of a clue he has about the struggles of everyday Americans.

What Fox News Radio host Tom Sullivan had the balls to say to Aunglee from Sacramento; with a bit of extra from Kyle Kulinski:

“I’m very skeptical. And I’ve got to tell you, if you haven’t been told, I will tell you. I think bipolar is like the latest fad. Everybody and their brother is getting diagnosed with bipolar. And last time I checked, we all have good days and we all have bad. And I don’t consider that an illness. And I don’t consider it a disability.”

Adding, as if for good measure, that bipolar disorder is "something made up by the mental health business just to be able to give people prescriptions and keep them coming in, and keeping you -- paying them money."

Let me tell you what bipolar really is.  Bipolar disorder is not some Hollywood trend like steaming your vagina.  Bipolar disorder is a disease that wreaks havoc on families and ends lives (ask Rick Warren about that).  Bipolar disorder isn't just the ups and downs of regular life. It is about bone crushing lows where getting out of bed is impossible; daily life skills like bathing, dressing or feeding oneself cease to exist.  Simple chores become like climbing K2 or Mt Everest.  You want the "pain" to end but lack the strength to drive your car into a tree.

Bipolar is not just about being happy, it's about being so manic that you start to believe you can fly.  That rules do not apply to you because your very existence is proof that god exists; I mean, why else would "I" be on this floating rock.  Ten minutes later that exuberance changes and you slash the shit out of your arms and legs.  (Yes I am also known by another term, I am Cutter.)

Let's return to that day in 1997,,, I knew none of this!

"He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee."

 ~Nietzsche~

What I did know is that my faithful brain stopped functioning the way it should or rather my "maladjusted coping mechanism"  faltered.  I became a monster that I know longer recognized.  Thus began my 3-year then 5-year road to recovery.

The first 3 years after dx's were hell, as I spent 18 months of that in and out of hospital and tinkering with finding the right combination of medication and therapy.  I lost both my jobs, was forced out of school and couldn't figure out how to fry an egg.  Stabilization eventually re-appeared going into year 3 but I had to be re-taught the basics or what therapy called "activities of daily living."  Getting dressed can be such a chore.

Because I am a rapid cycler, my moods can and will change on a dime, going out in public was interesting to say the least, needless to say I lost my ability to drive and became fearful of social situations.  By year 5 my relationship was over I had moved to Texas where a friend gave me time to heal and rediscover myself (or so I thought).  I eventuually bounced to Boston for a while eventually ending up in PA where I have been for 15 out of 16 years.  It hasn't been easy and I have had re-lapses.


The point being, bipolar (and for that matter any mental illness) has an impact both on a personal level as well as a social level. To be an arrogant twit and dismiss it as "not a real disability" is akin to telling someone who just had a stroke to buck up as they droop to the floor.  To say bipolar disorder "didn't exist 25 years ago" until Big Pharma got involved shows what a fucktard you really are.

Manic Depression was my original diagnosis 22 years ago. But you, Mr Sullivan, may want to brush up on your pre-Hippocratic history to understand more and then follow up with a more contemporary history. It was in the 1850s that the "concept" of manic-depression (or what we call bipolar disorder) took its current place in psychiatry.  Emil Kraeplin [1] continued in the early 1900s coining the term manic depressive psychosis. It progresses from there,,, long before Big Pharma ever existed.

The fact that after 22 years we must continue to fight bullshit such as yours is discouraging and down right frustrating.  It is why I applaud Aunglee for having the courage to speak up.  It is why I have no qualms about speaking about my hell, about my experiences with mental health.  It is because of people like you, Mr. Sullivan, and Rand Paul and Tom Price.  Every day of my life, I will battle against my disease. Although I no longer take medication, there was a time I could not live without them.  It was not because "somebody talked me into feeling and thinking this way" that happened on its own.

But there is a bit of a caveat to all this.  In order to end the stigma, we are going to have to do better than just "You're Wrong" with people like Sullivan.  He is a communicator, a manipulator of words and emotions in a field of entertainment that thrives on the gut reactions of audiences to get them to "tune back" in. 

It’s not about being a Republican or a Democrat; it’s not about being a Christian or an atheist.  It’s about truth.  And the truth of this matter is- Bipolar Disorder is a very real mental illness that’s been around for a very long time.  Our beliefs and perceptions do not change those fundamental facts.

And Tom, your apology is not accepted,,,so sit down and shut the fuck up!

One point I would like to make,,,

The three years I was unable to work, those were paid for by your tax dollars. Losing my jobs also meant losing my health insurance.  Like many others, I suffered the indignity of having to go on the dole after years of working, unable to provide for myself or my family.

At my initial interview after filing the paperwork, I was told I was faking.  That I wanted just some excuse to quit working.  Let's think about that, I quit a $32K/yr job with full benefits plus tuition reimbursement to collect $200 in food stamps and $200 in cash assistance.

Applying for SSDI (like Aunglee) although an option, was never pursued; I didn't have the mental capacity to deal with the added stress.  Lest anyone think it is an easy process, ask my ex, it took 7 yrs and 2 appeals.
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Just a note in regards to my introductory narrative:  because of the complex nature of bipolar disorder and its impact on daily life, I have over simplified.  Although initially dx'd with depression and PTSD during college (early 80s) I most likely had been suffering from bipolar my entire life.  My "acting out" in my early years were signs of what was to come.  For the sake of brevity I kept it simple.

[1]  Kraepelin’s Manic Depressive Insanity and Paranoia in 1921 detailed the difference between manic-depressive and praecox, which is now known as schizophrenia. His classification of mental disorders remains the basis used by professional associations today.  http://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder/history-bipolar
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Following is a list of some of the books, that I have read(*) or were recommended to me over the course of 20+ years, that I found helpful in gaining insight and understanding.  They are primarily geared towards Bipolar but some do have cross-over subjects (anxiety and panic disorders); many are memoirs or biographies.  This list has not been updated in a few years but is a good start.

*Agents in My Brain : How I Survived Manic Depression Bill Hannon Published by Library Pr (Open Court) May 1997

*The Bell Jar Sylvia Plath Published by Bantam Books August 1, 1983

The Bipolar Child: The Definitive and Reasurring Guide To Childhood's Most Misunderstood Disorder-Third Edition by Demitri Md Papolos and Janice Papolos  Broadway Books (A Division of Random House) Oct 2, 2007

Bipolar Disorder: A Guide for Patients and Families Francis Mark Mondimore M.D. Johns Hopkins Univ Pr Second Edition 2006

Bipolar Handbook: Real-Life Questions with up-to-Date Answers by Wes Burgess, MD Ph.D Published by Penguin Group 2006

*Brilliant Madness : Living With Manic-Depressive Illness Patty Duke, Gloria Hochman Published
by Bantam Books June 1, 1993

*Burn: A Bipolar Memoir Shane Feldman Published By Trafford Publishing 2004

*Call Me Anna:The Autobiography of Patty Duke  Patty Duke, Kenneth Turan Published by Bantam Books  Revised edition November 1990

*Children of Jonah: Personal Stories by Survivors of Suicide Attempts James T. Clemons Published by Capital Books, Inc 2001

*Darkness Visible:A Memoir of Madness:William Styron Published by Vintage Books January 1992

Detour : My Bipolar Road Trip in 4-D Lizzie Simon Published By Atria Books 2002

*The Depression Workbook: A Guide to Living With Depression and Manic Depression: Mary Ellen Copeland, Wayne London Published by New Harbinger Pubns September 1992

God Head Scott Zwiren Published by Dalkey Archive Pr 1996

*Electroboy: A Memior of Mania: Andy Behrman Published by Random House Trade Paperbacks 2002

*A History of Psychiatry:From the Era of the Asylum to the Age of Prozac Edward Shorter Published by John Wiley & Sons January 1997

*Living With Someone Who's Living With Bipolar Disorder: A Practical Guide for Family, Friends, and Coworkers Chelsea Lowe and Bruce M. Cohen, M.D., PhD Published by Jossey-Bass 2010

*Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder Julie A. Fast and John D. Preston Published By New Harbinger Publications, Inc Feb 2004

*Madness: A Bipolar Life by Marya Hornbacher Publihsed By Houghton Mifflin Company April 9, 2008

*Manic: A Memoir by Terri Cheney Published By HarperCollins Publishers  February 5, 2008

*Manic Depressive Illness Frederick K. Goodwin Kay Redfield Jamison Published by Oxford Univ Press Revised April 2007

*Running With Scissors By Augusten Burroughs Published By St. Martin's Press June 2003

*Selected Poems of Emily Dickinson Published by Tor Books April 1995

*Sights Unseen: Fiction  Kaye Gibbons  Published by Avon Books 1995

*The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide: What You and Your Family Need to Know David J. Miklowitz Published by  The Guilford Press 2002

*Touched With Fire:Manic Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament Kay Redfield Jamison Published by Free Pr October 1996

Undercurrents: A Life Beneath the Surface Martha Manning Published by Harper San Francisco March 1996 (deals with ETC-Electro Shock Therapy)

**An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Maddness Kay Redfield Jamison Published by Knopf September 1995 (This is the book you always hear me talk about and really opened my eyes. Recently replaced this book for the 6th time as I keep lending it out.)

*We Heard the Angels of Madness: A Family Guide to Coping with Manic Depression by Diane Berger, Lisa Berger, Diane Bergerm, Alexander Vuckovic Published by Quill June1992

When Someone You Love Is Depressed : How to Help Your Loved One Without Losing Yourself Laura Epstein Rosen, Xavier F. Amador Published by Free Pr September 1996 (Highly recommended if you are dealing with a family member.)

*The Years Of Silence are Past: My Father's Life With Biplar Disorder by Stephen P. Hinshawd Kay Redfield Jamison Cambridge University Press 2002

You Are Not Alone: Words of Experience and Hope for the Journey Through Depression Julia Thorne, Larry Rothstein (Contributor) Published 1993

*Voices Of Bipolar Disorder: The Healing Companion of Stories for Courage, Comfort and Strength
Richard Day Gore, Editor, Juliann Garey, Editor LeChance Publishing LLC 2010

*The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity (Inner Workbook) Julia Cameron , Mark Bryan , J P Tarcher, 1992

*Don't Panic: Taking Control of Anxiety Attacks  R. Reid Wilson, Harper Collins, 1996 (Revised Edition)

*Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy David Burns, M.D., Avon, 1992

*Learned Optimism   Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D., Pocket Books, Reissued March, 1998

*Triumph Over Fear  Jerilynn Ross, Rosalynn Carter, Bantam Doubleday Dell, 1995

Fox Host Tells Caller Her Bipolar Disorder Is "Made Up" And "The Latest Fad" For Money | Blog | Media Matters for America

This is why I fight, because ignorant fucks like Tom Sullivan,,,

“I’m very skeptical. And I’ve got to tell you, if you haven’t been told, I will tell you. I think bipolar is like the latest fad. Everybody and their brother is getting diagnosed with bipolar. And last time I checked, we all have good days and we all have bad. And I don’t consider that an illness. And I don’t consider it a disability.”

Latest "fad" my ass!! Another able-bodied, privileged, white male telling us how life really is. Honey child, you wouldn't last 24 hours in my world on my best day. You would be crawling back to your momma asking to suckle on her teet and protect you from the monster that is your brain (if you have one).

Oh and Tom in answer to your question, "What were these people called 25 years ago?" They were called manic depressives back then, it was my original diagnosis 22 years ago. You may want to brush up on your pre-Hippocratic history to understand more and then follow up with a more contemporary history. It was in the 1850s that the "concept" of manic-depression (or what we call bipolar disorder) took its current place in psychiatry beginning with Baillarger and Falret. Kraeplin continued in the early 1900s coining the term manic depressive psychosis. It progresses from there,,, [Edited to add: The DSM-III (1980) is the first official publication in the US where the nomenclature surrounding bipolar disorder was changed from manic-depression.]

Make no mistake in believing that this was "just" an off-hand comment(ary). Unless one was living on a remote island, who can forget Romney's forty-seven percent comment. But this animosity towards the under-served and disadvantaged seems to be a common thread among the Reich. Consider, Rand "get them a job on the first floor" Paul's recent statement alluded to in the article:

You know, the thing is is that with all of these programs, there's always somebody who's deserving and everybody in this room knows somebody who is gaming the system. What I tell people is, "If you look like me and you hop out of your truck, you shouldn't be getting a disability check." You know, over half the people on disability are either anxious or their back hurts. Join the club! [Laughter] Who doesn't get up a little anxious for work every day and their back hurts?! Everybody over 40 has a back pain.

This is no coincidence, the Reich has made it clear what they are trying to accomplish. As TPM points out, it has been going on for 80 years:

Social Security, in more ways than one the mother of all U.S. entitlement programs, has been the dragon that conservatives have succeeded in slashing, but never slaying, over its 80-year history. Their opposition has morphed from outright ideological grounds as the program was being debated during the New Deal era to a campaign masked in careful rhetoric once Social Security became virtually untouchable as a political animal.

Republicans know they have a new opportunity with the disability trust fund and a leverage point that comes along once every 20 years, and they're seizing it. Price floated some favorite proposals like means-testing, increasing the eligibility age, and individual accounts (otherwise known as privatization). He described it as the GOP's effort to "normalize the discussion and debate about Social Security."

Privatization is their goal and has been since the early 80s, beginning in earnest with Reagan's luke-warm attempt at revamping the program.

Privatization -- called "individual accounts," which had people investing their money, eliminating the base benefit that Social Security had been conceived as -- was the goal. They considered young people "the most obvious constituency for the private alternative" and pondered ways "to detach, or at least neutralize" the older Americans who were or would soon be benefitting from the program in its current form.

It continues to this day.

As one of its first orders of business upon convening Tuesday, the Republican House of Representatives approved a rule that will seriously undermine efforts to keep all of Social Security solvent.

The rule hampers an otherwise routine reallocation of Social Security payroll tax income from the old-age program to the disability program. Such a reallocation, in either direction, has taken place 11 times since 1968, according to Kathy Ruffing of the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities.

But it's especially urgent now, because the disability program's trust fund is expected to run dry as early as next year. At that point, disability benefits for 11 million beneficiaries would have to be cut 20%. Reallocating the income, however, would keep both the old-age and disability programs solvent until at least 2033, giving Congress plenty of time to assess the programs' needs and work out a long-term fix.
,,,
The rule change reflects the burgeoning demonization of disability recipients, a trend we've reported on in the past. it's been fomented by conservative Republicans and abetted by sloppy reporting by institutions such as NPR and "60 Minutes."

Disability recipients are easily caricatured as malingering layabouts by politicians, academics and journalists too lazy to do their homework. They'll say disability benefits are easy to obtain, so lavish they discourage work, and convenient substitutes for welfare payments. None of that is true.

As Jason Easley explained in response to Bernie Sander's statement, "[t]he rule change is a part of a Republican effort to kill Social Security. If the disability fund can’t be replenished, Benefits will have to be cut, and some of the most economically vulnerable people in our society will be pushed deeper into poverty. According to experts, the problem with the Social Security disability cash assistance programs is that it limits the earnings of disabled individuals to just above the poverty line. This creates a trap that makes it impossible for individuals who can’t work to escape poverty."

The Reich is doing what they do best, continuing their insidious attack against those that are unable defend themselves. Creating a wedge issue where one should not be by polarizing the lower and middle classes against each other while the rich just get richer.  "[N]ormalizing the discussion and debate about Social Security" means only one thing, cut it.

During his January 16, 2005, interview with the Washington Post, President George W. Bush corrected the reporter's use of the term "privatization plan", insisting on the phrase "personal savings accounts." Privatization is no longer the term used by Republicans to describe the plan, due to its poor performance in polls and focus groups.  Another euphemism was deployed by Karl Rove during a February 9, 2005, interview with Hannity & Colmes on Fox News. According to the News Hounds blog, Mr. Rove spoke of modernizing Social Security.

Rove's favorite euphemism was also used in a memo sent to the Social Security Administration's regional and public relations directors in February 2004. It stated that "Modernization must include individually controlled, voluntary personal retirement accounts." Also in the memo were talking points on the "long-term challenges facing Social Security." Critics said the memo was evidence of the Bush administration instructing a government agency to promote a certain political agenda.

Fox Host Tells Caller Her Bipolar Disorder Is "Made Up" And "The Latest Fad" For Money | Blog | Media Matters for America

You are what you eat

We’ve all heard about “mood foods” that can promote wellness for people with bipolar and depression,,,[b]ut it’s also important to think about how we eat. How we eat can have just as big an impact on our mood as what we eat, yet it often gets neglected in conversations about bipolar and food.

Being that I am also a type 2 diabetic (dx'd in 2007), what and when I eat is doubly important.

When I was first diagnosed with bipolar (1992), my main goal was to get my sanity back (if there was/is such a thing). After about 2-3 years I began to realize that there may be a link between the foods I ate and how my illness progressed. As a former athlete, I had always been mindful of what I ate so making this leap didn't seem so off-beat at the time. This was back in 1995/6 so the food-body connection was just beginning to come to a forefront in many other areas, especially in regards to the medical field as a whole. I never found any definitive literature concerning said topic, but it was a conclusion I came to of my own doing.

First to go was caffeine and lower sugar intake. (Regretfully my caffeine intake is back to pre-diagnosis levels and to be honest I don't know if it's a good thing or bad.) Next was weaning off my vegan diet, allegedly I wasn't getting enough protein (or so it was thought). I didn't jump right into being a carnivore, I gradually began to add seafood, chicken, and some turkey products. Beef and pork came much later; even today, it is very seldom. I still do not like the taste of beef and pork sometimes messes with my belly. Every now and again, I do like a nice rib eye, but expensive. (Flash forward 15+ years, I'm now trying to get back to my vegan diet, tho where I currently live is making it difficult; this is due more to health issues and weight gain.)

If you haven’t checked the PI sheet for your medication in a while, have a look. There might be a food-related instruction you’ve been forgetting.

Thankfully this has never been an issue for me, even when I was on lithium. Growing up in a no-salt household my sodium intake was already low. But I do know for individuals, food/med combination is an issue.

I am single at the moment, and plan on staying that way, so how I eat is a bit of a reflection on who I am. I work 2 jobs, my primary FT job is 3rd shift, so I attempt to sleep during the day. My body tells me when to sleep and when not to, if I am tired I sleep if not, I don't. This odd schedule has made eating and enjoying my meals a challenge. Throw in being diabetic, well I think you catch my drift,,,BUT one thing I do enjoy is cooking (altho it is getting a bit boring just cooking for myself,,,lol). Cooking is my passion, nothing gives me more pleasure than making a decent meal for myself. I do have some ole standbys that I can put together when need be, but finding something new and different flavors is relaxing.

The only downside, I eat whilst playing on my puter. I don't have TV and my only furniture besides a dresser, is my bed. Not the most inviting atmosphere to eat in. But what I eat and how I prepare it is the most important detail, that is one thing that will never get skimped on. As my situation changes and I am able to acquire more stuff (ie. furniture) my meal habits, I hope, will reflect that.

The only medication I am on is for my diabetes. If I had my way I wouldn't be on them either, but diet and exercise did not work for me. So popping pills is my only recourse. My decision to not take medications for my bipolar was made over the course of 2-3 yrs of continued weight gain that was beginning to affect my health in other ways. I went from a 164 pound former athlete to 268 pound ex athlete with chronic pain; all within 6 months of starting psychotropic medications. For 10 yrs, I struggled to lose that excess weight but finally gave up. After consulting with my medical doctors, I told them I wanted off my meds. My surgically reconstructed knees could not handle the weight and I was miserable.

For two years I weaned of my medication. I had to educate myself and learn new ways of controlling my hyper mania (depression was not so much an issue for me). I had to monitor all aspects of my waking life to see what influenced my body. And yes, what I ate did have an impact. Hence the reduction in caffeine and sugar and increase in meat proteins.

I have been med free since 2000, up to my health issues of the last 18 months, I had lost 96 pounds (regretfully I had but 52 pounds back on, of which 18 have again gone bye bye). So I can't say what food should/shouldn't be combined with medication. But the author makes a clear point: talk to your doctor, your pharmacist, and read any pertinent information concerning what medications you take.

I already mentioned a bit about (my) eating habits previously, but a point that I didn't make clear, that the author points out is important:

Being aware of how your eating habits correlate to your mood can be extremely helpful in heading off bipolar symptoms. If you’ve never given much thought to it before, try keeping a food journal for several weeks. Keep a record of when you ate, what you ate, and how you felt throughout the day. After a month or so of record-keeping, you might discover patterns you didn’t know were there.

I don't go quite to this extreme any more, but I have always kept a cooking journal. It records my shopping lists, new recipes I've tried, and what modifications I have made to accommodate my needs. For those that may want to explore the food/mood connection, I would definitely recommend you follow this step. You may be surprised by the results.

One suggestion I would make that I am surprised the author didn't make, STAY OFF OF THE PRE-PACKAGED, OUT OF THE BOX, PROCESSED FOOD!! I can't stress this enough. Dump the junk and eat fresh. One it's cheaper, and two it's healthier. I will admit that I do use some pre-packaged items (mostly side items like mac n cheese, mashed potatoes, etc.), I have no choice at the moment as I do not have a stove, so meal prep is challenging. I have a decent toaster oven, a single burner hot plate, and a not so great microwave (but it does what I need it to do). Making anything that takes more than one pot is a bitch, and time is issue some days. So at the moment I am experimenting with some food items, trying to find the best fit for my circumstances. But I always look at what ingredients are in the package and go for the best nutritional value.

[Since I'm on this topic a good site that I sometimes utilize when looking for recipes--Supercook. It is a recipe search engine based on what food items you have on hand. I hate to waste food and this site is a good one for using what you already have on hand.]

As I mentioned, depression has not been a primary issue for me. That does not mean I don't suffer from it but the severity for me is not quite as devastating as for others. I mostly have issues with hyper mania, preventing full blown mania, and well not going psychotic were I like to test the theory of gravity. Not to make light of the issue, a depressive state might be a welcomed relief. (I should be careful what I hope for, but my point is I am always on the go, constantly moving, my brain never stops, sleep is all screwed up, and I babble--can you tell.)

The few times that I have had a major depressive bout, it sucked. I'm not sure about others, but the last thing I wanted to do is eat. Maybe because I'm a bit more attentive to my eating, or that I do not keep junk foods in my apartment, I don't suffer from blues binging. But the author does bring up a good point:

When you’re depressed, the best way to eat is to sit down, take your time, and have healthy meals at regular intervals. Not only will this keep your blood sugar more stable throughout the day, but it can give you a sense of well-being and self-worth that you just don’t get from snarfling cookies right out of the box. Not that there’s anything wrong with eating a cookie.

I keep lots of fresh veggies on hand so if I get the urge to munch, I munch. And yes I do cheat. It's a learning process and I'm still learning.

The final two tips mentioned by the author I covered previously so I won't rehash too much. Weight gain is a nasty side affect and a daily battle. Regretfully I was hit hard, and my body just couldn't handle it. I would not change anything, at the time the information and medications available where the best there was. I am alive because of them. My only concern get your blood sugars tested and monitored for diabetes. I am diabetic because of the medications I was taking. This applies to ANYONE taking psyche meds. I can't stress this enough, but it still would not make me change anything, my life is that important to me.

"It’s much easier to keep bipolar under control when your life has a steady rhythm."

Ain't that the truth!! If my life gets chaotic, all bets are off. One thing I have discovered over the course of my battle is I need to keep a regular schedule; in my case as close to regular as I can get. I am a creature of habit, any drastic changes will throw me off balance. I get stuck in a loop of needing sleep but unable too and that is a dangerous game for me. The less sleep I get the more manic I become, and so on,,,So now I let my body tell me what it needs.

One thing to keep in mind with any illness,,,you have an illness it does not have you. You must take control. I can't stress this enough and I have mentioned it in other posts educate yourself. Learn, baby learn!!

6 Bipolar Rules for Eating | World of Psychology

So sad

Normally I wouldn't comment on a story such as this BUT it has hit a nerve with me for 2 reasons. First, I am a huge fan of hockey. I have been a fan of the Buffalo Sabres since, well, before they were even the Sabres; I love hockey and have since I was 3 years old. I played for many many years and probably would still be playing if I was physically able. One too many concussions ended my playing days.

The second reason, this is the 3rd death this summer to strike the NHL in the manner it did. Mental health issues are near and dear to my heart, I have bipolar disorder and struggle everyday. It breaks my heart to see another human being with so much to give lose that struggle.

Please my dear blog readers, if you know someone who struggles with depression, or any chronic illness be there for them. Let them know you care. Guide them to proper treatment and encourage them to get help. Educate yourself and others around you. These were men that in our minds "had it made" yet something went wrong.

To the Belak and Rypien families and all others who have lost friends or family in this manner, I wish you peace!! There are no easy answers as the 9" scar on my left forearm can attest too.

Wade Belak, Rick Rypien, and Mental Illness: Sometimes You Lose the War…

Mom of dead NHL player says he had depression - NHL - Yahoo! Sports

Diet, Appetite, Nutrition | Bipolar Disorder Mood Management | Bipolar Beat

A link does exist between diet and bipolar disorder. Omega 3, Magnesium, Vitamin B, and low sugar intake seemed helpful in minimizing the intensity and frequency of the mood swings.

I can't speak to the specifics of these findings, but I do agree that what I eat will have an effect on my ability to control my bipolar. I have personally discovered that maintaining a lowered sugar intake (beside the fact that I am diabetic), watching my caffeine intake, and eating healthier foods has helped me in keeping my moods on a more even keel. It may be anecdotal in my case, but considering the fact that I do not take medication, every little bit helps.

I can’t tell if the eating changes were caused by the brewing mood episode or if the dramatic change in diet triggered the mood episode – but they were clearly related to each other. We know that bipolar mood episodes are closely linked to regulatory systems such as sleep/wake, so it makes sense that the dietary system would be part of that loop as well.

I would have to say that in my own experience, a "brewing mood episode" triggers a change in my eating. For example, when I start a downward cycle I tend to eat more (and usually unhealthy) food. I tire easily, and to help maintain my energy level I eat. To help combat that I try to keep simple, easy to prepare ,and nutritious foods on hand, or at least better than what I have munched on in the past. (I will be the first to admit I fail at this more than I succeed.)

Another key thing I have to keep in mind is my work schedule. Besides jacking with my sleep (which I have trouble with--waking every 1 1/2 - 2 hrs), I don't eat meals like a person pulling a "9 to 5" job. So recently, because of the increase in stress, I have been attempting to eat my main meal when I wake for the day (usually between 6-8 PM) and eating lighter foods while at work. So far it seems to be working.

[On a side note: I have also been forcing myself to get out of my apartment, even if it is just to the store to grocery shop. When under duress I have a tendency to isolate, which for me is not a good thing. Something I have learned over the course of battling the beast since 97. It is why it is so important to educate yourself and learn all you can about you and your illness.]

And yes, sleep is very important. That is a whole issue in and of itself.

What do you think? Do you think the medical profession tends to overlook nutrition when treating bipolar disorder? When’s the last time your family physician, p-doc, or therapist asked you about what you eat or recommended dietary changes to help in mood management?

Some very important questions we all should be asking ourselves. Even if from a general health standpoint.

Diet, Appetite, Nutrition | Bipolar Disorder Mood Management | Bipolar Beat

This is not making me smile one bit

Altho I am no longer on medication for my bipolar. I find this article a bit disturbing and feeds into my "paranoia" as to why I don't use medication.

A bit of back story into my decision to not medicate.

Diagnosed in 1997 as bipolar, rapid cycling and mixed states with psychotic tendencies,,,perscribed paxil, lithium and zyprexa,,,paxil dropped after 17 days due to acute manic state. Lithium helped stabilize my condition but over time developed temors and what I can only describe as a "black hole" in my emotional affect. Switched to depakote in 1998 and continued until 2001; I believe this is also when I stopped taking zyprexa as well. I did very well on the depakote the only downfall, massive weight gain--111 pounds in less than 6 months. I also still had tremors tho not as acute as with the lithium. I also suffered from acute muscle fatigue making walking difficult especially after the weight gain. [I have since lost 95 pounds but re-gained 40, took 10 years to get that amount of weight off. I am not happy about the recent weight gain but am working at losing it again.]

After consulting with my psychiatrist and my general doctor I decided to stop my medication altogether (2002?). I could no longer handle the continued weight gain and I was experiencing unexplained pain in and around my liver area. Also about this time is when many medication where being blackboxed or completely pulled off the market. The final straw for me was the "alleged" link between psychotropic medication and diabetes, I was diagnosed in 2004(5). At this point every medication I had been on in the last 5-10 yrs fell into the blackbox/pulled category, including my medication for arthritis.

My decision to stop my medications was an informed one and not a delusional one. In other words I didn't just quit taking it because I felt I was better and didn't need them. I stopped because I felt as if my medication was killing me. It was not an easy decision, it has forced me to be in tune with what my body was telling me and to realize my limitations.

So whay does this article upset me:

Abilify (aripiprazole) is an atypical antipsychotic medication commonly used to treat schizophrenia and acute mania. In 2005, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved its use in the maintenance treatment of bipolar disorder – to prevent the recurrence of mood episodes. Unfortunately, evidence proving the effectiveness of Abilify as a maintenance medication for bipolar disorder is scarce and questionable.

An article published this week in the open access journal PLoS Medicine (Tsai et al) looks critically at the scientific evidence that supports such widespread use of this medicine for maintenance treatment of bipolar disorder. They found only one blind, randomized, controlled trial to support the use of Abilify in the long-term maintenance of bipolar disorder.

This whole story is a travesty for the medical profession – and for psychiatry in particular. We are prescribing a medication in massive numbers with woefully inadequate scientific research to support it,,,

And that folks is why I no longer take medication for my bipolar!!

[On a side note: I also discontinued my initial diabetes medication after 10 months due to the same issues. It wasn't until last year that I re-started a different med combo. So far so good. I am lucky tho that my GP is very open minded, she understands my issues and didn't poopoo it away. We were able to find medications that I was comfortable with taking and also work well to control my sugar levels. I learned the hard way that messing with diabetes is not a good thing as it nearly killed me.]

Abilify | Aripiprazole | Bipolar Disorder | Maintenance | Bipolar Beat

The blame game

This piece makes some excellent points,,,the only thing that I would add educate yourself. IMHO that is so important.

Bipolar Disorder: Blame the Illness Not the Person

A tough call

Altho the topic is a bit distressing I found that the insights presented interesting. Written by a Canadian journalist I would think that the same holds true here in the US if not world wide to some degree.

Should the media report non-celebrity suicides?

IMHO that's a tough call to make. Would I really want the world to know that I "offed" myself. Would anyone outside my personal circle of family and friends care? There is a stigma surrounding mental illness, I deal with it everyday. Up until last year [almost to the day] I would have said--NO. Now, not so much. Since my last attempt, which landed me in the hospital for 4 days, I have been able to use it as a learning tool to talk to others. Not only has it helped me gain insight, but it has allowed me to talk to others, it has put a face on mental illness that people can relate too.

Therein lays the dilemma, the media does not always put a human face on the toll that suicide takes on the human psyche. The personal story gets lost in the sensationalism, especially in regards to celebrity suicides. [Kurt Cobain being one that comes to mind.) IMHO one must look beyond the headlines, and find the true story behind the captions. It has to become a tool for learning and not a grab for readership (especially when the young are involved).

On a side note: Two good books dealing with the effects of mental illness An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison. In the books Jamison tells of her own manic depression, the bitter costs of her illness, and its paradoxical benefits. Jamison is both a psychiatric expert in manic depression and a sufferer of the disease. A second book, His Bright Light: The Story of Nick Traina by Danielle Steel. [Yes it is that Danielle Steele.] This book is a real eye opener to those of us that have no way of understanding or dealing with this disease. A poignant account of the life and death of her son.


Suicide Notes :: Ryerson Review of Journalism :: The Ryerson School of Journalism

Religious discussions,,,what's the point?

When I first read this post in one of the forums I frequent, my initial reaction was to rant and rave about my similar experience(s). So instead of a knee jerk reaction I decided to wait a bit and see if my "disgust" went away. Well it hasn't, tho it's a bit more tempered.

I think what upset me the most was the fact that the author felt that he needed to apologize because he "hurt" someones feelings for believing the way he does. I am so sick of having to tip toe around so called "believers" because that can't handle the fact that they are living a life of fairy tales. I have not only had to do this with my belief system but also because I am a lesbian; oh and throw in the fact that I also have a mental illness. I get a triple whammy. [Altho I have mentioned this in prior blog posts, I am a lesbian; have been my whole life. I consider myself a deistic (for lack of a better term) agnostic bordering on atheism, and I have bipolar disorder. I am physically impaired due to chronic pain, and I have diabetes (caused by the psychotropic meds I was prescribed to treat my bipolar).]

What I have learned over the past 25 years is this,,,I lead by example; I am who I am. What you see is what you get, and I have no pretences. I am not out to impress anyone, the only person I attempt impress is myself. I live my life for me (and my wife), not for any persons, organization, or religion. I hide nothing, my life is an open book. So, if you have a question, ask. If done with respect, I will answer you with respect and honesty. If you think you know the answer(s) to your question(s), and you still want to ask, be forewarned I will tell you straight up. So don't act all shocked and bent out of shape, don't try to "convert" me, and don't decide that all the sudden you can't/won't be part of my life. Just because I "came out" to you doesn't change who I am. I am still the same person I was 5 minutes ago.

It has taken many years, but I am now to the point of saying-- "F*** It, I do not care what others think. They either can accept me for who I am or get out of my life. I will drop you like a lead balloon and not think twice about it. I do not need negativity in my life.

Oh, and btw, this is not just in regards to my "religious" beliefs. You see my journey started many years ago. First aspect of my life to be called into question was my acceptance of being a lesbian. After many years of struggle I came to the conclusion that I am to accept myself for who I am; no amount of prayer was going to change me. I became comfortable with my sexuality in regards to my then religious beliefs. It was between me and god and no one else.

In 1997 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and hospitalized for a total of 18 months (full and partial hospitalization). I struggled for 2 1/2 yrs to get a handle on my diagnoses. I read every possible piece of literature concerning bipolar disorder. Learned as much as possible to help my self be able to fight any stigma associated with having a mental illness. Maybe it was the timing of my diagnoses, or the fact mental illness was just beginning to come to the forefront, I found that I did not have the difficulties with societal expectations as many others in the past have. Yes there is much misinformation out there but that is changing.

As for my non-religious beliefs, very few people know about my deconversion.

My de-conversion odyssey is not just dogmatic or doctrinal. Both issues are involved, but my journey has not been a simple one. Without going into a long diatribe, my deistic agnosticism (bordering on atheism) has come after many years of study and thought. My rejection of the biblical cannon as having authority in my life, or as a revelation from god is complete.

Altho I no longer believe in the existence of the Abrahamic concept of god, I do accept the possibility of some form of a higher power hence the agnosticism. Tho I do not believe this higher power to be revelatory (deism) as generally accepted by those of christian faith.

But not many people know this aspect of me. Why? Because I have learned that talking "religion" is pointless (almost as pointless as politics). Your not going to change my mind, and I'm not going to change yours. That is where my leading by example comes in, my life is my testament. If by example I can show people that being a non-believer is not a "bad" thing I have done my part.

[BTW I do not deny that a good debate is always fun. That is why I have no issue in putting my thoughts out there in cyberspace. If I go to a "christian" forum and spout about being a non-believer I aspect to get backlash, I except that. The same should hold true for "believers" that come into our forums.]

Religious discussion can hurt

Bipolar ≠ Violence

"The truth of the matter is that just because you have a mental illness; does not mean you are violent. I know that each person needs to be evaluated on an individual basis, but I believe that includes every individual, not just those of us who have a diagnosis; sane people murder, too."

In my opinion individuals with bipolar are more apt to be self-destrucive in their actions rather than violent towards others (ie. Mel Gibson, Linsday Lohan, Brittany Spears and Mike Tyson come to mind.) We lack impulse control when manic. Those of us that have psychotic features to our mania, our brains are to scattered to carry our complex tasks. When I am in meltdown, I'm lucky I remember how to dress myself.

I feel that those that commit violence, already had those plans in mind prior to the incident; their little plots, to save humaniuty from the evils of the world, were pre-existing and festering in their sick heads (by that I mean don't mean mentally ill sick.)

Most people that I know with a diagnosed illness are hard working, straight up people who know they have problems. They have taken steps to ensure their well-being, and surrounded themselves with caring and supportive people. Many have struggled finding the proper care, but they have taken the initiative in getting what they need and not expecting the system to do all ther work for them.

But yet we still have those that appear to slip thro the cracks. It always seems to be them that get the headlines when something bad happens.

Are People with Bipolar Disorder Violent?

Info to definitely keep an eye on

New Genetic Link to Bipolar Disorder | Candida Fink, MD | Bipolar Beat

Book Recommendation

Altho I haven't read this book yet, I have had the pleasure of communicating with the author via the Spiritually Raw Discussion Forum and speaking with her through the show. Because of my history with bipolar disorder and my own suicide attempts, Marianne's story hit a nerve and I feel her message is so very important!!

A bit wordy (big words that is) but important

"Understanding the genetics of bipolar disorder could lead to new treatments, but identifying specific genetic variations associated with this disorder has been challenging."

New clue to the genetics of bipolar disorder: Piccolo

Amen to this,,,knowledge is power!!

"Knowledge is power when it comes to bipolar disorder. Understanding the disease through this type of bipolar therapy is an important first step in managing it."

So very true!! Speaking from my own experience, you have to learn all you can, not just about bipolar, but any chronic illness you may be dx'd with. I went through hell the first year or so after my dx. I was in and out of the hospital for 18 months; I had no clue as to what was going on. It wasn't until I started to educate myself that I began to show any signs of healing.

Currently I am trying to get a better handle on my diabetes as I did with with my bipolar. Tho I will admit I am struggling. I think it comes down to accepting the fact that I am diabetic. It's live and learn!!

Psychoeducation Therapy for Bipolar Disorder - Bipolar Disorder Center - Everyday Health

As I said before, knowledge is power

Another role model to follow in beating the stigma associated with mental illness,,,yo Mel, you could learn a thing or two!!

An Interview with Meg Hutchinson on Music and living with Bipolar Disorder - Bipolar, Bipolar Manic Episode Information, Disorders, Symptoms, Behavior

A fairly decent overview

Mel Gibson's Tirade and the 10 Top Myths of Bipolar Disorder

I cringed every time I hear the diagnosis of bipolar in the news being used as a "defense" for some outrageous behaviors. I'm not saying that bipolar can't or doesn't contribute, but if Mel had been dx'd in the past (since 1977 by some accounts I've read); then it is his responsibility to learn how to properly deal. Alcohol abuse is not the way to go. But in his defense, and speaking from personal experience the bear can rear it's ugly head at any time even after months or in my case years of trouble free living.

Understatement

Spending Sprees in Bipolar Disorder

A book,,,

Bipolar In Order

"Tom Wootton’s new book, Bipolar In Order, asks the reader to approach bipolar disorder (otherwise known as manic depression) from a different light. Rather than viewing this mental health condition as a problem needing a cure, he asks that you look at it for what it is — a different way of living life with a different set of parameters."